Friday, April 18, 2014

Drowning

I feel like I'm sinking
and you shove me 
farther down
into the black abyss
of a rising ocean,
asking me all the while
if I am okay. 

I cannot swim
fast enough
to escape.

I give up
and suck in
the water - 
only then
am I free
of you.



Thursday, April 17, 2014

First Love Lasts Forever

I still remember the first moment
I saw you -
fifteen and football
never made more sense.

You were different.

You were the antithesis
of high school,
convention and stereotype.

You were sunlight
in the dark -
intangible
beautiful
the first beat to my heart.
Everything I never knew
I wanted
standing upright.

I am defined
by that moment,
stained by it
and all of its unrequited glory.

You may be
no good for me
but I cannot let you go.
It'd be like asking
me not to breathe,
to stop my heartbeat,
never blink.

You are mine,
I am yours -
and it has always
been that way
since the moment
we met.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Without the Season of You

You looked like summer
in your yellow dress
and bright sky blue eyes,
and I wanted to bathe
in your light
until the street lamps
came on.

But our time was cut short
as all the best times
usually are,
and now only heart scars
remain.

The colors of the world
don't seem so bright
without you in it
anymore.

It's as if I have gone
colorblind,
with only hues
of grey and blue
to light my life
from the inside out.

The fires of red, orange
and yellow
have all burned out.

How dismal Life
is without the summer
of you.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Growing Up

Once thick as molasses,
Life ripped us apart. 
It burned us to the ground
and left plenty of scars.
 
But we rose from the ashes
like the fabled phoenix birds,
And spoke in muffled voices
only careful words. 

We hid our faces from the sun
and always looked down. 
We kept to ourselves too often
and panicked in a crowd. 

We forgot who we were
and the love we once shared;
it was easier to look away
than fight for what was fair. 

We fell in line like robots
and did what we were supposed to;
we never tried to asked questions,
never looked for the truth. 

Everything was harder,
but somehow easier too
because we no longer thought about it,
just did what we were told to do.

Whoever we were before - 
those friends of yesteryear,
didn't exist anymore - 
replaced instead by sadness and fear. 

But the memory remains
of two hearts that beat as one
before Life trampled over them
and sucked out all the fun.

Maybe someday things will change
and we will be who we once were,
rather than empty carcasses
roaming this bitter earth.




Monday, April 14, 2014

Slippery Slope

One drink 
does not make me
like you. 

But the wanting
that comes
with the peace
that drink brings,
and the lie
I tell myself
that I can handle it
does. 

I'm not you,
but oh 
how I could be.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Belief

I believe in the unseen,
the fairies and the elves,
the goblins and the magic thieves
hiding away your things.

I believe in unicorns
and magic spells,
an imagined life
you cannot buy or sell,
but must live
through the eyes of a child.

I believe in 398.2

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Toxic

Your smoke
fills me up
until I cannot breathe.
It intoxicates me,
leaves me empty
when you blow
through me
like I am a chimney,
a vessel
just for you to push
through,
move endlessly
about me
like I am not there.